8/18

Here are some pictures from various August 18ths over the years, including several from our very first 8/18 together at the San Francisco SPCA.

 

I've lost count of how many times I've repeated something like "life is cruel/worthless/evil/sick" in my head or out loud to my empty house over the last four months, but over the weekend, I've been able to temper the darkness (in brief flashes and flickers, at least) with something more positive that's actually true, to make myself feel better. Life is cruel, yes, but it was also perfect and fulfilling and beautiful every single day since 8/18. How lucky was I to have the trust and dependence and unconditional love for so long, when many others might not ever have any of that even for one day. 

 

 

And so the question might be, "was it worth it?" to experience such joy and safety and love and growth in exchange for the pain and suffering now. I hate that the answer is yes! Joey, I'm still learning from you every single day.